2 states::::contd......

a fine saturday morning..i still at bed..it is 10 AM. Finally some sense of atonement wakes me up..i pushed empty beer bottles and cans off my bad..the smell of dry beer cans is worse than the fresh chilled beer, trying to get myself up and meanwhile toppling the bottle into my mouth to look for some remaining drops of it if any.

this absence of abstinence smothering me since last six-seven months. these are the normal saturdays i used to have till now.nothing can teach you about the world and paradigms but you. solitude as it seems is a great teacher which edifies even the putrefying souls like me..debauchery as you can call it seems a perfect aberration for a normal life. An unwelcome aberration that will lead you to the darkest corner of the human life..

i must admit i was not like this and i also know i will not remain like this but this period of months told me a great deal about human life..human life is not as complex as we think..on the contrary it is very simple..life itself will force you to take some knowledge and accept it in a dogmatic fashion at some point of time but later it will by itself come back and take away that thing replacing it with the actual truth and wisdom. this whole process is painful as change we say always is.

I lost many notions about the simple nature of right and wrong, success and failure & happiness and sorrow. i felt that success and failure both are highly overrated and that is because of our predilection for money,fame and power. success and failure are just two sides of one coin. they come together and exists together. in fact, these two things are not absolute and hence can't stay oblivion to each other. at the times, i tried to find out the reasons behind the happiness of the people and it occurred to me that people just opt for it when there was an equal chance for another option also.it happened to me that most of our sorrows are self induced, they come to us because we are weak from inside. happiness and sorrow are also the two sides of same coin i surmise. ..

As a student i never chased the excellence with few exceptions of course.i was worried about the marks,grades and money all the time.excellence is the easiest thing to chase let me tell you but it is so banal that nobody ever likes it. but when you are devoid of all material accomplishments in your life , you have to chase the excellence to calm yourself and enrich yourself in order to get ready for the big combats. excellence is the key to success and success is the key to happiness.

many people and many of you have been aware of all this since beginning but for me it is a new thing. it is a moral and a lesson for me that will have an impact on my life from now onwards.some incidents change you for the rest of your life. in my case it was a journey stained with alcohol and depression.

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