HE , THEM and Happyness

'i was never good enough for them, still i am not' he uttered laconically..he was saying that to himself may be!!

'what the hell you are talking man, it is not like this. in which sense and dimension you find yourself just unworthy for them' this was his friend, may be his only friend, may be somebody who have seen him in real ,the one who is well aware of his facts and feelings!!

the conversation wasn't very dramatic as it is all written above. he was still terrified, he was still not sure about himself. he was dragged , he was tormented and still he was miles away from a fine accomplishment of his own, an accomplishment he didn't care about too much in his past. it has come back or perhaps it has come now. he was insecure , he was obscure!!

he was a fine kid once. he was a promising kid once. he got into something very rare. he was happy then.

it breaks again..may be it was a silence or it was a broken conduit through which he has just got a glimpse of his early past. his friend still looking at him , not sure what to say and not sure what not to say..

'in every aspect, starting from the very obvious and inevitable to the core which is unseen' he replied. again it was a darkness, again it was an emptiness. he was feeling it again.

after that rare he was happy, well the level of his happiness dented with the time though. he was not getting one thing, he was not intimating that thing. he tried hard sometimes but he failed and sometimes he even failed to define his failures. he attempted to finalize something but he was never able to consolidate anything because of some unexpected hits which he was not expecting precisely.

he was discarded by them , he was ignored by them and he was forgotten by them. he was asked to pay a high price for them. sometimes he was very angry with them. he accused them. he blamed them but it was all his fault.

click!! ' it is not like that , i don't understand why you are always that much self critical. it is just a matter of time. let it come as it will come for sure' his friend tried to buy his sanity.

he paused , he smiled, he nodded. 'yeah , you are right!!!LOL'

he broke the ice with that LOL, but both of them were aware of reality that neither of them have yet achieved what they are looking for. he was denied the desired level of frustrations while his friend has failed to send him back to the normalcy.

they chuckled, they talked. they went to their own way and then he was all alone again. he was feeling it again but now in a different way. he admitted the destiny, he prayed to god. 'they are not doing anything wrong, they are just behaving like normal people with normal desires' he said that to himself. he did sit , he admitted his unworthiness again but not for remaining unworthy.he decided to buy his way to happiness. he tried for it. he is still buying it in his own way.

perhaps he is a happy man now, he is living for his dream now. his dreams are different and he don't even know whether he will be able to get the thing which has triggered all this.

BUT STILL HE IS BUYING HIS WAY to happiness rest he guess he can't control!!

enJOY